Drunk In Russia
by Black Goddess
Summary: Standalone sequel to Drunk In London. Spike Angel alcohol singing?


Drunk in Russia  
By the Black Goddess  
  
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel do not belong to me. No copyright infringement is intended and I make no money from this.  
  
A/N: Stand-alone sequel to Drunk in London. You don't have to read that first (or at all) but I'd like it if you did! This fic was written with my younger sister, Empress of the Eclipse. Mild spoilers for Season 4. I wrote this on 30/5/2000, before I saw Season Five, or Season 2 Angel. I think this has been posted before (Drunk in London certainly has been) on Byersgirl fanfic archive under the author Lovely Angels (Dirty Pair). I would send you there, but I have lost track of the site, and so my fic! If anyone knows where I can find this again, please tell me!  
  
  
Spike sat gloomily in Xander's chair, watching some rubbish on television.  
"You're a boring sod, y'know that?" he informed Xander irritably.  
"Your opinion is not required." said Xander flatly, turning the volume up on the TV.  
"I mean, do you actually HAVE a life?" continued Spike. "You never go anywhere, you don't smoke. Hell, you don't even drink!"  
"Drinking isn't the only way to have fun you know." said Xander. "Now will you shut up? I'm trying to watch this."  
"Drinking is one of the best ways to have fun," argued Spike. "Especially watching other people make fools of themselves. I remember," Spike snickered at the memory, "one time in Russia, Angelus tried to sing!"  
"What?" asked Xander, turning the volume on the TV down slightly. Spike grinned an evil grin and drifted back into memories.....  
  
"I'd like more fine please." said Angelus hesitantly. He was aware that his Russian was terrible, but after twelve pints he had refused to let Spike go on doing the talking and insisted he do it himself.  
"He means beer." said the younger vampire fluently, shooting a glance of mixed amusement and irritation at his sire. The barman nodded and topped up their pints. Angel nodded at him, then began to hum under his breath.  
"Spike?" he said after a moment. "How does that song go?"  
"Which song?" slurred Spike happily.  
"The one about undying love and the beautiful maiden."  
"That one?" said Spike cheerfully. He began to sing it quietly in Russian. Angel listened intently, chiming in with the odd word occasionally. When Spike finished, Angel drank the rest of his pint and said:  
"I wanna sing it. Can you play it on the piano?"  
"Yeah, of course!" said Spike indignantly. He knew he was wonderful at everything - how could Angelus doubt him?   
Spike finished his pint and the two vampires stood up. Spike dropped a coin onto the bar to pay for at least some of what they had drunk and the two staggered over to the piano which stood in one corner of the bar. Angelus stood shakily by it, while Spike slumped onto the stool and played a note at random.  
"I is singing." announced Angelus in Russian to the room at large. Spike launched into the correct tune on the piano, superbly in his mind and passably to the more sober occupants of the bar. The song was a slow, beautiful one about a young shepherd dying from a broken heart after being scorned by a beautiful maiden. It was a national favourite, and the room went silent as they waited for Angel to start singing.  
Angel lurched in on time. He was a passable singer, never likely to make any money but able to just about hold a tune. All might have been well if he hadn't been trying to sing in a language he didn't understand. He began the song well enough, but unfortunately the real words escaped him about half-way through the first verse. He began to sing a rough approximation of the words, throwing in a strange mixture of French, Italian and Czech words to augment the Russian ones. Listening to his Sire, Spike began to snicker. Angel's mangling of the song had turned a lovely folk song into a description of bizarre sexual practices. Angel sang on with confidence, convinced that his words were the right ones and completely oblivious to the angry muttering which was beginning to fill the room. Spike continued to play the piano, despite the fact that he was having quiet hysterics at Angel's lyrics.  
"And the sheep bleated joyously." carolled Angel "and the maiden groaned. The shepherd with his walrus took her from behind."  
Spike thought he would die from trying not to laugh. The ominous mumbling began to get louder.  
"The shepherd caressed his sheep as he shot his load." crooned Angel, "and the maiden took care of the trees."  
Spike was doomed never to hear the end of the song. A beer mug flew out of the crowd and hit Angel on the head. Angel grabbed it and threw it back with a snarl, his demonic visage emerging. Spike guessed what had happened and stopped playing to back up his sire.  
"Devils!" a voice shouted, and the fight began. 20 villagers against Spike and Angelus.  
Both vampires enjoyed the fight thoroughly. Spike had to keep stopping to laugh as he remembered Angel's lyrics. The fight only ended when the vampires had killed everyone in the bar.  
"Well," said Angel, looking around at the devastation. "I guess the vodka's ours then." He leaned over the bar to grab it and took a swig before saying thoughtfully:  
"What was wrong with that performance then? I didn't think my singing was as good as usual, but it wasn't that bad."  
Spike collapsed in hysterics. He was completely unable to stop laughing, or to explain to Angelus what was so funny. Angelus drank half of the bottle of vodka before picking up a still-hysterical Spike and carrying him home.  
  
  
Spike mopped his streaming eyes and shuddered with laughter.  
"Of all Angelus's exploits, that was one of the best!" he groaned.  
"You mean there are more?" laughed Xander.  
"We were drinking buddies for a long time." chuckled Spike. "Of course there are more! None quite so good as that though." he added as a fresh spasm of laughter shook his body.  
"Tell me another," begged Xander.  
"OK!" grinned Spike. "Here goes..."  
  
The End  
  
There are a couple more of these, but they don't come as chapters. REVIEW please! I don't get my hits counted, so I only know you read this if you review! Any suggestions for other parts are very welcome!  
  



End file.
